Moving is supposed to feel like an exciting new chapter, but for many people, it doesn’t.
Instead of excitement, they feel sadness, doubt, and constantly ask: Did I make a mistake?
If you regret moving, it’s essential to recognize that this is a perfectly normal reaction when numerous changes are occurring in your life.
Studies suggest that nearly half of the people who move experience some level of post-move regret.
Whether it’s missing loved ones, feeling disconnected from your new city, or realizing the move didn’t deliver what you hoped, relocation regret is common, but it is also manageable.
This guide explains why moving regret happens, the most common types of relocation regret, and, most importantly, what you can realistically do about it.
Why Regret After Moving Is So Common
Don’t worry, moving regret is normal
Moving isn’t just a logistical event; it’s a major psychological transition. Even when a move is planned, wanted, and necessary, it usually means:
Loss of familiar routines
Separation from emotional support systems
Identity shifts (new job, new role, new environment)
Financial pressure
Decision fatigue and exhaustion
These factors can cloud judgment and intensify negative emotions, making even a good move feel like a bad one.
In many cases, what feels like regret is actually grief for the life you left behind.
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Fitting into your new environment and social circle takes time
Relocation regret looks different for everyone, but most experiences fall into a few familiar categories.
Regret Moving Away From Family and Friends
Leaving loved ones behind is the number one reason people regret moving.
Even if you stay in touch, distance changes relationships. You may miss:
Daily conversations
Emotional support
Shared milestones
A sense of belonging
Loneliness often rears its head after the unpacking is done, when reality sets in, and routines begin again.
You may also like to read: Moving to a New City Alone. In this guide, we look at the challenges and solutions of moving to a new city on your own.
Regret Moving for a Job
Job-related relocations don’t always go as planned. Common issues include:
Job responsibilities that differ from expectations
Poor workplace culture
Limited career growth
Burnout or work-life imbalance
When your career move doesn’t work out the way you hoped, it’s easy to question the entire relocation.
You may also like to read: Moving for Work. In this guide, we look at the pros and cons of relocating for a new job.
Regret Moving for Love
Relocating for a partner, or moving in together, can backfire if:
The relationship ends
Expectations change
Power dynamics shift
In these cases, regret often stems from feeling like you had to go through all the changes, whilst the other person made fewer sacrifices and changes.
You may also like to read: Tips for a Couple Moving in Together. In this guide, we look at the advantages of moving in with your partner and offer tips to make the transition to living together work.
Regret Moving to a New City
A new city can feel isolating, especially if:
You don’t know anyone
The culture feels unfamiliar
The pace of life doesn’t suit you
The “honeymoon period” may fade quickly, revealing challenges you didn’t anticipate.
You may also like to read: Moving to a New City. In this guide, we look at the pros and cons of moving to a new city.
Regret Moving to a New House
Sometimes the problem isn’t the city, it’s the home.
You may regret:
Downsizing too much
Buying or renting too quickly
Choosing the wrong neighborhood
Losing the emotional comfort of your old space
A house that doesn’t feel like home can make every other regret seem worse.
Even positive change involves loss, and loss naturally brings grief.
You may also like to read: Moving to a Place Where You Know Nobody. In this guide, we suggest ways to get to know people in your new city and how to combat the loneliness of being there alone.
Financial Regret
Moving is expensive. Financial stress after relocation may come from:
Underestimating moving costs
Higher living expenses
Unexpected fees
Moving scams
Money worries can make your regret feel even worse, and make adapting to your new life even harder.
How to Handle Relocation Regret
Making your new place feel like home is crucial
The good news? Most relocation regrets fade with time and by taking a few simple actions.
1. Give Yourself Time
Early regret is often emotional shock.
Give yourself at least 3–6 months before making major decisions. Stress, fatigue, and homesickness can distort your perspective, especially right after a move.
Your environment affects your emotions more than you realize.
Unpack fully
Arrange furniture for comfort, not perfection
Display familiar items and photos
Create one “safe” space for relaxation
Familiarity reduces anxiety and restores emotional balance.
You may also like to read: How to Make a New Place Feel Like Home. In this guide, we offer some simple tips to make your new place feel like it’s yours and you belong there.
3. Build a New Routine
Routine creates stability.
Start with:
Consistent wake-up and sleep times
Regular meals
Weekly rituals (walks, workouts, or visiting your favorite coffee shops)
A routine gives you a sense of safety and normality, which helps life feel manageable again.
You may also like to read: How to Help a Dog Adjust to a New Home. If you have a canine friend, then they will help you create new routines, but they, too, may be struggling after the move. In this guide, we offer some tips to help your dog adjust to his new surroundings.
4. Reconnect With Your “Why.”
You moved for great reasons, don’t lose sight of those goals
You moved for a reason, maybe career growth, love, affordability, or opportunity.
Write down your reasons and then ask:
Is this goal still valid?
Am I giving it a fair chance?
Perspective helps counter looking at your old life through rose-tinted glasses and allows you to give your new opportunities a chance.
It also often helps to list all the bad things about your old home or life. It reinforces why you moved and how these changes will improve your quality of life.
You may also like to read: The Benefits of Moving Home. In this guide, we look at 10 of the life-changing benefits of moving to a new place.
5. Stay in Touch With Loved Ones
Distance doesn’t have to mean disconnection; there are still plenty of ways to keep in touch with loved ones:
You may also like to read: How to Overcome Relocation Depression. In this guide, you will find plenty of useful tips to help you settle into your new place quickly and help you overcome relocation depression.
6. Adapt to Your New Environment
Familiarity is important if you want to bond and feel at home in your new place.
Get to know your new area:
Walk your neighborhood
Find local favorites
Attend community events
Join local online groups
The more familiar your environment becomes, the less threatening it feels.
You may also like to read: How to Adapt to a New Environment. In this guide, we share some tips to help you get to know the new area you have moved to better.
7. Make New Friends
Social connection is the strongest antidote to relocation regret. But the great thing about moving to a new place is that you can choose more wisely those you allow into your life.
Try:
Talking to neighbors
Joining hobby groups
Attending classes or meetups
Volunteering
Accepting invitations, even when it feels uncomfortable
Belonging transforms a place from “temporary” to “home.”
Every move is a stepping stone and a learning experience
Sometimes, despite your best efforts, regret doesn’t fade.
That doesn’t mean you failed, it means you tried, you learnt, and you are now considering the next step of your journey.
You may consider moving again if:
You still feel unhappy after 6–12 months
Your mental health is suffering
You feel dissatisfied or that our expectations have not been met
The move conflicts with your values or identity
Your options:
Move back if you miss your old life and support system
Move somewhere new with clearer expectations and lessons learned
Moving again isn’t quitting, it’s starting the next leg of discovery.
You may also like to read: Moving Back to Your Hometown. In this guide, we look at the pros and cons of moving back to your hometown.
FAQs About Regretting a Move
Don’t rush, everything takes time
How long does relocation regret last? For most people, at least 3–6 months, and often a year.
Is it normal to regret a move you wanted? Yes. Wanting change doesn’t eliminate the loss you feel for what you left behind.
Should I move back right away? Not usually. Give yourself time unless your well-being is at risk.
Does everyone feel this way after moving? Many people do, especially after big life transitions or solo moves.
Regretting a move doesn’t mean you made the wrong decision; it means you’re human.
Life is a series of choices, and if you don’t jump, you’ll never know where you’ll land.
With time (and that is really important, giving yourself time to adjust), making the home feel like it’s yours, creating new memories, and making the connection with your new surroundings, most people conclude that the move was the right decision and their life is better for it.
And if not, choosing a new direction is always an option.
Whatever you decide, move forward, be kind to yourself, and remember that no move is a mistake; it always teaches you something valuable.
Good luck with whatever you decide, and be sure to visit our home moving blog, where you will find lots of advice and tips on every aspect of moving home and settling into a new life.
I have been in my new build apartment for over a year, but still have my 2 bed terrace house, which l have to sell, but it has to go 3 ways.
I am now feeling unsure, whether l should have stayed. I think l prefer a terrace house or semi detached, it is a lovely area here but quiet, l feel abit isolated.
My old address was busy, near town and everything, but l felt area getting abit rough and scruffy, yet my house was updated. I am 60 next month, so its abit late. The old house will be our inheritance, yet l was only one living in the property, the others will not get their share while l am still alive.
I don’t know what to do
I have been in my new build apartment for over a year, but still have my 2 bed terrace house, which l have to sell, but it has to go 3 ways.
I am now feeling unsure, whether l should have stayed. I think l prefer a terrace house or semi detached, it is a lovely area here but quiet, l feel abit isolated.
My old address was busy, near town and everything, but l felt area getting abit rough and scruffy, yet my house was updated. I am 60 next month, so its abit late. The old house will be our inheritance, yet l was only one living in the property, the others will not get their share while l am still alive.
I don’t know what to do
I made such a mistake moving to be nearer my daughter and granddaughter after I retired. Almost 4 months here and they never make time for me. All the talk of “you can watch her and you can help us with rides” turned out to be BS. Here I am in a new city with few acquaintances and they don’t even consider that I might need some companionship. It really hurts. I’ll give it a year. If things don’t get better I’m outta here.
This article was great. I’ve been looking for solid material on this very topic.
We sold our home in a major city and moved to a growing exurb where we could get more bang for our buck as we were priced out of the city we lived in and couldn’t find anything that was comfortable for my husband, two young boys and my mom. I absolutely love the house but have been regretful since the move as the town we are in has just a couple of convenience stores, a walgreens, parks and schools. I feel like we gave up our lives just to have a much more comfortable living space. When we go back into our old city which is about 25 minutes away, I continously long to be back in the area. It’s even difficult to go back to our old home as it was our very first home. I really want to give it a year or two, see how the area develops and then haul tail back to the city if I still feel this way. It’s miserable.
This is exactly me. I moved about 30 minutes away to be closer to my daughter who bought a home of her own. I had lost my husband the year before and still have two younger daughters in college. I panicked because my oldest was leaving home and didn’t have anyone to slow me down. I’ve been depressed for 7 months wanting my HOME back that I built with my husband. I frequently find excuses to drive by the house. I even offered to buy the house back. I find myself wondering if I should at least move back to the neighborhood/community to get back some of what I’m missing.
I moved 3 months ago from Bklyn to Staten Island close to my daughter and grandchildren I’m feeling isolated and lonely I made a mistake thinking stores were closer and they are not. I don’t drive and being near my daughter wasn’t giving up my life in Bklyn for I feel trapped
I also relocated to be nearer to family but they have busy lives. And now I regret my decision as I find it hard to adjust to a quieter life and away from other family and friends whom I had known for many years have been in my new house over 2 months but don’t know what to do next.
This is a good article! We left our life on the west coast and moved to the east coast so that my son could know my parents and family. Unfortunately we’ve been here for 6 months and no one has visited. We put in all the effort to see them but it’s not reciprocal meanwhile it’s been hard to meet new friends because of COVID. Easy coast living feels hard meanwhile life in the west had a certain easiness to it. We were happy we could always go outside and be in nature. Everyday I hope things will improve but we are longing for our old home. We decided to give it 2 solid years to see if we can adapt. It was a big move but if we don’t we are heading back to the west coast.
Hi Ivy,
I’m wondering if you moved back to the west coast. We just made the same move from Tucson, AZ to Asheville, NC and I feel like a misfit in “the south”, having lived most of my adult life on the west coast. Be curious to know your outcome.
I just moved from the West Coast a week ago went back to my hometown. Worst mistake of my life. I miss the small town and the 5 cities. What to I do. I live in a congested city with so much traffic. I am so depressed.
I made a big move from Illinois to indiana to live closer to my son and my three grand children. Right after my 2 nd week here I felt I made a big mistake. No one welcome me my son and daughter in law never call, text or visit. I feel stuck here. I am going to give myself till spring if things stayed the way they are I will move back to my home town where I lived 43 years. I still have a house there. I only signed a six month lease here in Indiana. I have been here almost two months still have to wait four long months before I am out of here…very sad story. Regret deeply.
I feel exactly the same major regret moving want badly to go back to my old house with all the memories but I can’t I signed it away and now can’t go back. I have tried so hard to settle but a year on and still feeling just as bad, if anyone has any advice I would be so grateful I just fell upon this one and don’t know how it works, hopefully I will get some help/support/advice Thank you
I’m glad I came across this article now I know I’m not alone feeling this way. I’m 64, left my home of over 30 plus years where I raised my 3 children. I lived just 5 minutes from the house I grew up in. I moved to be closer to one of my daughters and grandchildren but it put me further away from my other daughter and those grandchildren. They too are too busy and don’t visit. It’s more of a rural setting so I have to drive farther to shop, the neighborhood is all young families so no making of friends. My friends don’t want to travel the distance to come and visit. I put everything I made from the sale of that house into this house. My son with some disabilities lives with me and he doesn’t want to move again. I too feel stuck. I also moved because the neighborhood was getting bad but I still miss it. This home is a lot more up keep as well, now I’m near a busier street, young neighbors. I was blinded by the thought of a new home, and the “we can hang out and do more if you were closer” statement from my daughter. I think she just wanted to get me away from her sister. Before I lived between the 2 as far as distance, now I have to travel over an hour to see my other daughter. It consumes me every day of the bad decision I made to move her, plus the mortgage on the older home was almost paid off.
I am also feeling much regret moving from NYC Westchester area to Upstate NY in a downtown—Unsettled and unfocused. I am here under 1 month, and all of the initial excitement has turned to hard regret. I lost my happiness and it’s hard to get it back.
Also, the little AC unit noises are driving me nuts. I miss the nature of before, and now hear low grade artificial noises when I open the window. Nature is very important to me, and I feel like I made a mistake to remove that from life.
I have a 1 year lease, but can negotiate getting out earlier. I did a budget move to get here (a friend helped), but will have to likely spend a lot to relocate again, and would need to reduce stuff–which will take some time.
I need my happiness, and I miss the people that were around me before. I didn’t see them much (mostly talked on phone), because everyone has their own lives and residual distancing— so I thought that if I moved away, it wont make a diff. But it does. (I now realize.) Because I can’t make simple trips to see them. I am over 5 hours away now.
I think I made a mistake. And I want to go back.
I am glad to find this thread. I make snap decisions at times and decided I wanted to buy a home close to my home town near Las Vegas, NV. I have been living in Southern Utah and had a great job. I am old enough to retire so I thought moving to Overton NV would offer the warm temps I enjoyed 17 yrs ago. Now I don’t want to move there. My husband is there with our many pets and we put most of the money we made from the sale of our Utah house in this new house. It is a great house in the wrong location. I paid top dollar, I could not get what I need to move. I realize I am not ready to retire from my current job and I want to buy a house back where I lived in Utah and can’t afford another home with the one we bought in Nevada. I feel so torn and cannot make the decision. So sorry I made this move.
I am glad to have found this site, it is helpful and encouraging. My husband, son and I moved to the country from a rural area back home. I loved this state visiting, but don’t like it now that I live here. I miss the familiarity of home, normal stores, normal drivers and food I can’t get out where I live now. I want to move back but my husband does not want to. I am trying to make the best of the situation, but can’t seem to understand why I am struggling SO badly.
Miss my young adult kids and all I knew in MN so much. Left last August, ‘22. To try out WA state. Have 2 siblings I had missed for years that had moved out here many years ago. Seen my brother maybe 6 or 7 times total in the last year.
Staying with my sister now along with my husband. She ended up offering to us to stay here and get out of our debt mess. Although we’d planned on doing an extended stay hotel til we found an apartment. I regret the move and this choice. I had left my very good job too thinking I’d find a good one that was comparable and still have not. I have kind of given up on job search out here since my kids have now told me they don’t want to join us. That was one thing I was thinking they would follow us after we set up. I cashed out my PERA also.
Instead of getting a new place, my sister encouraged us to deal with old debt, we agreed, but my husband went and paid off so much of his bills and then we had nothing left to go towards a new place to move. I have felt officially trapped. Now I have crap credit again and no where else to go.
I only got 2 low paying retail jobs that hurt my arthritic hands so I recently quit.
My husband works remotely, thank God.
We pay sister money to live here in a tiny room we added on to her home with my husbands retirement fund. I am determined to go back to MN since I miss my kids so much. Have literally fought with my husband and even debated my sister over this. Told I’m plain wrong and selfish. Let them be the young adults they are. As if they don’t need a mother in their life anymore. Oh and my husband does like the men’s church group finally out here. Like there is no way to be connected to churches in other cities or virtually.
Well , sure my kids can live on their own, but I’d love to be able to go have lunch or a movie, a walk with them again. They need me, I need them.
During covid we lived in Florida and my husband’s Dr. said as my husband has Parkinson’s we should move closer to family. We moved from sunny beautiful Florida to dreary boring Indiana. I hate the cold and ice and dreary days- I get so depressed i could scream. Our son has always a bit aloof but he promised if we moved we would be one happy family. What a big lie! He ignores us and last week he actually screamed at us. I have been buying things for the grandkids- I have to beg him to stop by to pick them up. We love our 2 grandsons but seeing them once a week and having 6 days of terrible boredom is the pits. How I miss going into my pool or walking to the community pool to meet people. As for my DIL we have figured out she is staying with our son as she is to put it bluntly a gold digger as well have quite a lot of money which she wants to get her hands on. Once she told m when my son is gone she will find a really handsome new husband as she is so beautiful. I nearly died when she said that- who says such a thing? Truth be told she is not named in the trusts and will get NOTHING in terms of a large pay out when we are gone. The names trustee will handle requests for money for the care of the boys- not for her! I am tempted to tell her that perhaps it would get her moving along. Watching her in action wasting money dong absolutely no housework and yelling at our son has made us both sick. He told us he wants to divorce her but does not know about his 2 sons- they are young. We bought the house without seeing it- our daughter in law looked at it and said it was great. I HATE the house it is too large 5200 sq feet 5 brs and 5 baths. The bathtubs are cheap tubs that neither my husband or I can get into- there is no places to hold onto when getting out. I fear falling. I hate the back yard- so ugly- compared to my beautiful pond and preserve back yard with a lovely pool. I have not made any friends- the street is 21 houses mostly senior like us- and although no one is nasty no one has gone out of their way to be friendly. I have posted on local boards asking for anyone looking for ladies to be my friend. I have had 2 replies and they said they wanted to meet then ghosted me- I wrote several times and they never replied. I have been sicker living here for the past 2 years than I had been in Fla, for nearly `10 years. I gave had coughs, colds, poison ivy 3 times as the lovely back yard is infested with it! I am just so sad living here- prices in Florida have gone through the roof since we sold. had we not sold we would be living in a house worth a lot more than what we got which makes me sad. I am not sure what to do- I look at Florida real estate blogs every day as I really want to go back. I have a couple friends in the town we lived in so would know someone- unlike here. Moving will be hard as we are both 2 years older than when we moved the last time. This state has state income tax which Fla. did not have so we are paying a LOT MORE to live in a place we like A LOT LESS! I am really sad and depressed.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It’s so hard when you move and then regret. I am in the same situation. We are just taking time to think through our next move. Take time to reflect and if you are very unhappy in 6 months time move on. Sounds like location is very important for you.
While I am sad to know other people are experiencing regret due to a recent move, I am glad to know that I am not alone. I have moved before but never experienced the depression that this latest move has caused. And to top it off, getting caught up in the financial mess of inflation, high interest rates, etc. I feel totally overwhelmed at what to do next.
I just moved from the big island to Oahu. It’s a huge disappointment. My husband was chasing dollar signs, but now it’s proven to cost us more money on this depressing rock. The people are rude, the prices are ridiculous, I live in an area with nothing only churches and schools. My daughter and grandchildren are on the mainland including all of my family. We have his family here and although they are nice and willing to make time for us, I just cannot shake the depression.
On the Big Island I felt safe to explore and hike alone. Here there’s drug addicts and homeless around every corner. I’m worried my truck will get broken into if I park at a beach to go walking. For the first time in 30 years I bought pepper spray. I feel responsible for this dumb move because when we came on vacations a few times to scout the area it was totally different than actually living here. This town is ghetto and our neighborhood is terrible. A million dollar house that looks like a dump. Our neighbors are rude. Giant murder-breed dogs are constantly roaming around off leash and the cops are always here because of domestic issues.
People on the beaches pop illegal fireworks at all hours of the night. Dogs bark outside nonstop and roosters crowing all morning. The nearest Walmart and Costco are over an hour away. Target is 45 minutes away. You just get overpriced mom & pop shops that charge $9 for a 1/2 gallon of milk.
The worst part is that my happy-go-lucky husband is fully on board to ride it out and I’ve resorted to taking antidepressants. I just want to stay in bed all day. I have no sadness in my sleep. I’ve put on weight and I just plain hate this island. There’s too many people. Too many dogs and too little room for all of us. The job market is also pathetic here. The pay is crap. I have a bachelor’s degree in health management and can’t even find work. Don’t ever think Hawaii is paradise. It’s not, its unraveling my peace and my sanity one sunny irritating day at a time.
I’m so glad I found this article. I’m in the same boat as many commenting here. My husband passed away three years ago and I still had my children, 14, 16 and 21. Last January my oldest bought a home of her own and moved about an hour away. It was another “loss” after losing my husband that I didn’t expect to affect me the way it did. I panicked. My husband and I had built our home 25 years ago and raised our kids there. It was a beautiful home in a beautiful community. But I panicked and thought I needed to be closer to my older daughter. The younger two were in college and high school still. The house turned out to be a disaster and I was miserable because I realized I had made an awful mistake leaving my home but now I had a house with undisclosed issues that were going to cost a lot of money and aggravation. I had even approached the new owners of my house to see if they would sell it back. They said no. As crazy as it sounds, I decided to sell the house rather than deal with the repairs after only four months. I viewed this more as a necessity to get out of there because of the issues. Fortunately, the city I bought in is in high demand and I sold it in three days and made a profit. I bought a condo also in the same area. It is definitely better than the second house, but it’s still not my original HOME. It has been 7 months since I sold my family home and I still can’t get over this regret and depression of leaving my home and my community. My daughters say that the move just triggered the grief for my husband. I’m sure that’s part of it, part they’re too young to understand the connection to the home and community I’ve been in therapy but it hasn’t been helping. I have cried almost every single day. I frequently drive back to the neighborhood just to be close. Even as I get off the exit and drive through the city I instantly feel at home. I’m starting to wonder if instead of buying this condo if I should have at least moved back to my community where the streets are familiar, the stores and restaurants are familiar, the church is familiar and there are still friends and relatives nearby. I feel crazy for thinking I should move again, but what if that is really the answer to help me feel myself again?
Misery loves company. I feel the same way as many who have commented. I regret moving across country sooooo much that it makes me sick. I have lost weight because I’m nauseous with regret. I miss my old life every day. It doesn’t get better even though I’m trying to hold onto hope. I feel isolated. We went from a big city to a very small town. It’s been a nightmare. Knowing others are going through this helps a bit.
In my 50s, single, and with no kids, I recently embarked on a bold journey from Daytona Beach, FL to Gettysburg, driven by my profound connection to the area. Having been born and raised in NYC, I have always felt a strong pull towards Gettysburg and the charming allure of this historic town.
Tragically, my father, with whom I lived in FL, passed away, and I made the heartfelt decision to lay him to rest here in Gettysburg.
Despite pouring my heart into finding a suitable home, I have encountered significant challenges, including two failed home inspections and two failed contracts.
As I anticipate a promising job opportunity on the horizon, these housing setbacks threaten to impede my readiness for this new chapter.
After investing a considerable amount in a long-term hotel stay, I am overwhelmed by deep regret about my move and possess a fervent desire to seek a fresh start elsewhere but not back to FL.
At this pivotal juncture, the weight of this decision bears heavily on my shoulders, leaving me uncertain about the best course of action…
Iam feeling the same,outside is vert overgrown, I feel very uncomfortable and vulnerable since a drug dealer was raied downstairs and windows are shamed,people may come and go,,,,,as Tennant wrote on window, HMP,,,,, this was not in application for homeless as I was a gold and I was forced into taking it,coming from a bedsit, o suffer from heavy asthma and superted ocpd,I ask for kincorth or garthdee cause I stayed in cive through private, guy selled up,I was homeless, I have no family, I was blackmailed into this dump,,,,please contact me on 07519194187,,,please help
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I have been in my new build apartment for over a year, but still have my 2 bed terrace house, which l have to sell, but it has to go 3 ways.
I am now feeling unsure, whether l should have stayed. I think l prefer a terrace house or semi detached, it is a lovely area here but quiet, l feel abit isolated.
My old address was busy, near town and everything, but l felt area getting abit rough and scruffy, yet my house was updated. I am 60 next month, so its abit late. The old house will be our inheritance, yet l was only one living in the property, the others will not get their share while l am still alive.
I don’t know what to do
I have been in my new build apartment for over a year, but still have my 2 bed terrace house, which l have to sell, but it has to go 3 ways.
I am now feeling unsure, whether l should have stayed. I think l prefer a terrace house or semi detached, it is a lovely area here but quiet, l feel abit isolated.
My old address was busy, near town and everything, but l felt area getting abit rough and scruffy, yet my house was updated. I am 60 next month, so its abit late. The old house will be our inheritance, yet l was only one living in the property, the others will not get their share while l am still alive.
I don’t know what to do
I made such a mistake moving to be nearer my daughter and granddaughter after I retired. Almost 4 months here and they never make time for me. All the talk of “you can watch her and you can help us with rides” turned out to be BS. Here I am in a new city with few acquaintances and they don’t even consider that I might need some companionship. It really hurts. I’ll give it a year. If things don’t get better I’m outta here.
This article was great. I’ve been looking for solid material on this very topic.
We sold our home in a major city and moved to a growing exurb where we could get more bang for our buck as we were priced out of the city we lived in and couldn’t find anything that was comfortable for my husband, two young boys and my mom. I absolutely love the house but have been regretful since the move as the town we are in has just a couple of convenience stores, a walgreens, parks and schools. I feel like we gave up our lives just to have a much more comfortable living space. When we go back into our old city which is about 25 minutes away, I continously long to be back in the area. It’s even difficult to go back to our old home as it was our very first home. I really want to give it a year or two, see how the area develops and then haul tail back to the city if I still feel this way. It’s miserable.
This is exactly me. I moved about 30 minutes away to be closer to my daughter who bought a home of her own. I had lost my husband the year before and still have two younger daughters in college. I panicked because my oldest was leaving home and didn’t have anyone to slow me down. I’ve been depressed for 7 months wanting my HOME back that I built with my husband. I frequently find excuses to drive by the house. I even offered to buy the house back. I find myself wondering if I should at least move back to the neighborhood/community to get back some of what I’m missing.
I moved 3 months ago from Bklyn to Staten Island close to my daughter and grandchildren I’m feeling isolated and lonely I made a mistake thinking stores were closer and they are not. I don’t drive and being near my daughter wasn’t giving up my life in Bklyn for I feel trapped
I also relocated to be nearer to family but they have busy lives. And now I regret my decision as I find it hard to adjust to a quieter life and away from other family and friends whom I had known for many years have been in my new house over 2 months but don’t know what to do next.
This is a good article! We left our life on the west coast and moved to the east coast so that my son could know my parents and family. Unfortunately we’ve been here for 6 months and no one has visited. We put in all the effort to see them but it’s not reciprocal meanwhile it’s been hard to meet new friends because of COVID. Easy coast living feels hard meanwhile life in the west had a certain easiness to it. We were happy we could always go outside and be in nature. Everyday I hope things will improve but we are longing for our old home. We decided to give it 2 solid years to see if we can adapt. It was a big move but if we don’t we are heading back to the west coast.
Hi Ivy,
I’m wondering if you moved back to the west coast. We just made the same move from Tucson, AZ to Asheville, NC and I feel like a misfit in “the south”, having lived most of my adult life on the west coast. Be curious to know your outcome.
I just moved from the West Coast a week ago went back to my hometown. Worst mistake of my life. I miss the small town and the 5 cities. What to I do. I live in a congested city with so much traffic. I am so depressed.
I made a big move from Illinois to indiana to live closer to my son and my three grand children. Right after my 2 nd week here I felt I made a big mistake. No one welcome me my son and daughter in law never call, text or visit. I feel stuck here. I am going to give myself till spring if things stayed the way they are I will move back to my home town where I lived 43 years. I still have a house there. I only signed a six month lease here in Indiana. I have been here almost two months still have to wait four long months before I am out of here…very sad story. Regret deeply.
I feel exactly the same major regret moving want badly to go back to my old house with all the memories but I can’t I signed it away and now can’t go back. I have tried so hard to settle but a year on and still feeling just as bad, if anyone has any advice I would be so grateful I just fell upon this one and don’t know how it works, hopefully I will get some help/support/advice Thank you
I’m glad I came across this article now I know I’m not alone feeling this way. I’m 64, left my home of over 30 plus years where I raised my 3 children. I lived just 5 minutes from the house I grew up in. I moved to be closer to one of my daughters and grandchildren but it put me further away from my other daughter and those grandchildren. They too are too busy and don’t visit. It’s more of a rural setting so I have to drive farther to shop, the neighborhood is all young families so no making of friends. My friends don’t want to travel the distance to come and visit. I put everything I made from the sale of that house into this house. My son with some disabilities lives with me and he doesn’t want to move again. I too feel stuck. I also moved because the neighborhood was getting bad but I still miss it. This home is a lot more up keep as well, now I’m near a busier street, young neighbors. I was blinded by the thought of a new home, and the “we can hang out and do more if you were closer” statement from my daughter. I think she just wanted to get me away from her sister. Before I lived between the 2 as far as distance, now I have to travel over an hour to see my other daughter. It consumes me every day of the bad decision I made to move her, plus the mortgage on the older home was almost paid off.
Yes dreadful mistake, never move to be near children.
I am also feeling much regret moving from NYC Westchester area to Upstate NY in a downtown—Unsettled and unfocused. I am here under 1 month, and all of the initial excitement has turned to hard regret. I lost my happiness and it’s hard to get it back.
Also, the little AC unit noises are driving me nuts. I miss the nature of before, and now hear low grade artificial noises when I open the window. Nature is very important to me, and I feel like I made a mistake to remove that from life.
I have a 1 year lease, but can negotiate getting out earlier. I did a budget move to get here (a friend helped), but will have to likely spend a lot to relocate again, and would need to reduce stuff–which will take some time.
I need my happiness, and I miss the people that were around me before. I didn’t see them much (mostly talked on phone), because everyone has their own lives and residual distancing— so I thought that if I moved away, it wont make a diff. But it does. (I now realize.) Because I can’t make simple trips to see them. I am over 5 hours away now.
I think I made a mistake. And I want to go back.
I am glad to find this thread. I make snap decisions at times and decided I wanted to buy a home close to my home town near Las Vegas, NV. I have been living in Southern Utah and had a great job. I am old enough to retire so I thought moving to Overton NV would offer the warm temps I enjoyed 17 yrs ago. Now I don’t want to move there. My husband is there with our many pets and we put most of the money we made from the sale of our Utah house in this new house. It is a great house in the wrong location. I paid top dollar, I could not get what I need to move. I realize I am not ready to retire from my current job and I want to buy a house back where I lived in Utah and can’t afford another home with the one we bought in Nevada. I feel so torn and cannot make the decision. So sorry I made this move.
I didn’t expect an article on this website to be so DEEP! There is a lot of wisdom here. Good job!
I am glad to have found this site, it is helpful and encouraging. My husband, son and I moved to the country from a rural area back home. I loved this state visiting, but don’t like it now that I live here. I miss the familiarity of home, normal stores, normal drivers and food I can’t get out where I live now. I want to move back but my husband does not want to. I am trying to make the best of the situation, but can’t seem to understand why I am struggling SO badly.
Miss my young adult kids and all I knew in MN so much. Left last August, ‘22. To try out WA state. Have 2 siblings I had missed for years that had moved out here many years ago. Seen my brother maybe 6 or 7 times total in the last year.
Staying with my sister now along with my husband. She ended up offering to us to stay here and get out of our debt mess. Although we’d planned on doing an extended stay hotel til we found an apartment. I regret the move and this choice. I had left my very good job too thinking I’d find a good one that was comparable and still have not. I have kind of given up on job search out here since my kids have now told me they don’t want to join us. That was one thing I was thinking they would follow us after we set up. I cashed out my PERA also.
Instead of getting a new place, my sister encouraged us to deal with old debt, we agreed, but my husband went and paid off so much of his bills and then we had nothing left to go towards a new place to move. I have felt officially trapped. Now I have crap credit again and no where else to go.
I only got 2 low paying retail jobs that hurt my arthritic hands so I recently quit.
My husband works remotely, thank God.
We pay sister money to live here in a tiny room we added on to her home with my husbands retirement fund. I am determined to go back to MN since I miss my kids so much. Have literally fought with my husband and even debated my sister over this. Told I’m plain wrong and selfish. Let them be the young adults they are. As if they don’t need a mother in their life anymore. Oh and my husband does like the men’s church group finally out here. Like there is no way to be connected to churches in other cities or virtually.
Well , sure my kids can live on their own, but I’d love to be able to go have lunch or a movie, a walk with them again. They need me, I need them.
During covid we lived in Florida and my husband’s Dr. said as my husband has Parkinson’s we should move closer to family. We moved from sunny beautiful Florida to dreary boring Indiana. I hate the cold and ice and dreary days- I get so depressed i could scream. Our son has always a bit aloof but he promised if we moved we would be one happy family. What a big lie! He ignores us and last week he actually screamed at us. I have been buying things for the grandkids- I have to beg him to stop by to pick them up. We love our 2 grandsons but seeing them once a week and having 6 days of terrible boredom is the pits. How I miss going into my pool or walking to the community pool to meet people. As for my DIL we have figured out she is staying with our son as she is to put it bluntly a gold digger as well have quite a lot of money which she wants to get her hands on. Once she told m when my son is gone she will find a really handsome new husband as she is so beautiful. I nearly died when she said that- who says such a thing? Truth be told she is not named in the trusts and will get NOTHING in terms of a large pay out when we are gone. The names trustee will handle requests for money for the care of the boys- not for her! I am tempted to tell her that perhaps it would get her moving along. Watching her in action wasting money dong absolutely no housework and yelling at our son has made us both sick. He told us he wants to divorce her but does not know about his 2 sons- they are young. We bought the house without seeing it- our daughter in law looked at it and said it was great. I HATE the house it is too large 5200 sq feet 5 brs and 5 baths. The bathtubs are cheap tubs that neither my husband or I can get into- there is no places to hold onto when getting out. I fear falling. I hate the back yard- so ugly- compared to my beautiful pond and preserve back yard with a lovely pool. I have not made any friends- the street is 21 houses mostly senior like us- and although no one is nasty no one has gone out of their way to be friendly. I have posted on local boards asking for anyone looking for ladies to be my friend. I have had 2 replies and they said they wanted to meet then ghosted me- I wrote several times and they never replied. I have been sicker living here for the past 2 years than I had been in Fla, for nearly `10 years. I gave had coughs, colds, poison ivy 3 times as the lovely back yard is infested with it! I am just so sad living here- prices in Florida have gone through the roof since we sold. had we not sold we would be living in a house worth a lot more than what we got which makes me sad. I am not sure what to do- I look at Florida real estate blogs every day as I really want to go back. I have a couple friends in the town we lived in so would know someone- unlike here. Moving will be hard as we are both 2 years older than when we moved the last time. This state has state income tax which Fla. did not have so we are paying a LOT MORE to live in a place we like A LOT LESS! I am really sad and depressed.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It’s so hard when you move and then regret. I am in the same situation. We are just taking time to think through our next move. Take time to reflect and if you are very unhappy in 6 months time move on. Sounds like location is very important for you.
While I am sad to know other people are experiencing regret due to a recent move, I am glad to know that I am not alone. I have moved before but never experienced the depression that this latest move has caused. And to top it off, getting caught up in the financial mess of inflation, high interest rates, etc. I feel totally overwhelmed at what to do next.
I just moved from the big island to Oahu. It’s a huge disappointment. My husband was chasing dollar signs, but now it’s proven to cost us more money on this depressing rock. The people are rude, the prices are ridiculous, I live in an area with nothing only churches and schools. My daughter and grandchildren are on the mainland including all of my family. We have his family here and although they are nice and willing to make time for us, I just cannot shake the depression.
On the Big Island I felt safe to explore and hike alone. Here there’s drug addicts and homeless around every corner. I’m worried my truck will get broken into if I park at a beach to go walking. For the first time in 30 years I bought pepper spray. I feel responsible for this dumb move because when we came on vacations a few times to scout the area it was totally different than actually living here. This town is ghetto and our neighborhood is terrible. A million dollar house that looks like a dump. Our neighbors are rude. Giant murder-breed dogs are constantly roaming around off leash and the cops are always here because of domestic issues.
People on the beaches pop illegal fireworks at all hours of the night. Dogs bark outside nonstop and roosters crowing all morning. The nearest Walmart and Costco are over an hour away. Target is 45 minutes away. You just get overpriced mom & pop shops that charge $9 for a 1/2 gallon of milk.
The worst part is that my happy-go-lucky husband is fully on board to ride it out and I’ve resorted to taking antidepressants. I just want to stay in bed all day. I have no sadness in my sleep. I’ve put on weight and I just plain hate this island. There’s too many people. Too many dogs and too little room for all of us. The job market is also pathetic here. The pay is crap. I have a bachelor’s degree in health management and can’t even find work. Don’t ever think Hawaii is paradise. It’s not, its unraveling my peace and my sanity one sunny irritating day at a time.
I’m so glad I found this article. I’m in the same boat as many commenting here. My husband passed away three years ago and I still had my children, 14, 16 and 21. Last January my oldest bought a home of her own and moved about an hour away. It was another “loss” after losing my husband that I didn’t expect to affect me the way it did. I panicked. My husband and I had built our home 25 years ago and raised our kids there. It was a beautiful home in a beautiful community. But I panicked and thought I needed to be closer to my older daughter. The younger two were in college and high school still. The house turned out to be a disaster and I was miserable because I realized I had made an awful mistake leaving my home but now I had a house with undisclosed issues that were going to cost a lot of money and aggravation. I had even approached the new owners of my house to see if they would sell it back. They said no. As crazy as it sounds, I decided to sell the house rather than deal with the repairs after only four months. I viewed this more as a necessity to get out of there because of the issues. Fortunately, the city I bought in is in high demand and I sold it in three days and made a profit. I bought a condo also in the same area. It is definitely better than the second house, but it’s still not my original HOME. It has been 7 months since I sold my family home and I still can’t get over this regret and depression of leaving my home and my community. My daughters say that the move just triggered the grief for my husband. I’m sure that’s part of it, part they’re too young to understand the connection to the home and community I’ve been in therapy but it hasn’t been helping. I have cried almost every single day. I frequently drive back to the neighborhood just to be close. Even as I get off the exit and drive through the city I instantly feel at home. I’m starting to wonder if instead of buying this condo if I should have at least moved back to my community where the streets are familiar, the stores and restaurants are familiar, the church is familiar and there are still friends and relatives nearby. I feel crazy for thinking I should move again, but what if that is really the answer to help me feel myself again?
Misery loves company. I feel the same way as many who have commented. I regret moving across country sooooo much that it makes me sick. I have lost weight because I’m nauseous with regret. I miss my old life every day. It doesn’t get better even though I’m trying to hold onto hope. I feel isolated. We went from a big city to a very small town. It’s been a nightmare. Knowing others are going through this helps a bit.
In my 50s, single, and with no kids, I recently embarked on a bold journey from Daytona Beach, FL to Gettysburg, driven by my profound connection to the area. Having been born and raised in NYC, I have always felt a strong pull towards Gettysburg and the charming allure of this historic town.
Tragically, my father, with whom I lived in FL, passed away, and I made the heartfelt decision to lay him to rest here in Gettysburg.
Despite pouring my heart into finding a suitable home, I have encountered significant challenges, including two failed home inspections and two failed contracts.
As I anticipate a promising job opportunity on the horizon, these housing setbacks threaten to impede my readiness for this new chapter.
After investing a considerable amount in a long-term hotel stay, I am overwhelmed by deep regret about my move and possess a fervent desire to seek a fresh start elsewhere but not back to FL.
At this pivotal juncture, the weight of this decision bears heavily on my shoulders, leaving me uncertain about the best course of action…
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