Moving With Children Across the Country: Complete Guide

Everybody knows, either from personal experience or through rumors, that moving is not a particularly fun experience.

In fact, if badly organized and poorly executed, a house move can easily turn into a stressful ordeal for everyone in the family.

Besides the time-consuming and arduous packing of all the household items accumulated as a result of years of living in one place, there are also endless moving tasks that you need to get crossed out in your MOVING CHECKLIST before moving day.

Yes, moving can be and usually is a real stressor. And when you’re moving with children, then your move will automatically become even more stressful and complicated as your worries about the well-being of your angels will skyrocket.

To help you handle the tougher relocation level, we have prepared this extensive guide with practical tips on how to survive a move with your children to a new house or apartment … and keep your sanity at the same time.

For a much faster and more convenient reading experience, we have broken up our complete guide on moving with children into three sections: 1) babies and toddlers, 2) pre-schoolers or school-age children, and 3) teenagers.

Each section refers to and covers a different age group and deals with the various sets of challenges that you’re about to face when moving with kids across the country.

So, what’s the best way to move with children to another home?

Moving With A Baby Or A Toddler

Even very organized people find out that moving is a tough job and admit that getting adequate help is the only way to bring the whole affair to a successful end.

And when moving with a toddler or a baby, that timely relocation assistance becomes something more than much-needed help – it becomes a lifesaver.

Remember that any packing, moving, and unpacking help you get from your family and friends will also be priceless in this transitional period, so be brave enough to ask for it.

Stage 1. Before the move

Here’s what you should know when you’re moving with a baby or a toddler to another home.

1. Disruption of routine

Every good parent should know how important the routine for their baby or toddler is.

In reality, the disruption of that same familiar schedule of your little one and the consequent struggle to preserve it will be one of the main causes of concern for you, and probably the major issue you’re going to have to address before, during, and after the cross country move.

Make it your top priority to keep your kid’s routine as unchanged as possible. If you sense that things are getting out of hand, resort to either asking a family member (preferably a grandmother) or hiring a babysitter to take care of your child while your mind is preoccupied with

• packing,
• cleaning,
• finding reputable movers,
• having utilities disconnected,
• changing the address,
• arranging the transportation of pets,
• organizing a yard sale,
• saying goodbye to friends, and so on.

2. Stress handling

Generally speaking, babies and toddlers will respond differently to the chaotic moving preparations that precede a move.

Babies will usually not be too affected by the whirlwind of relocation activities around them because they are too young to comprehend what’s really going on and what the fuss is all about.

As long as they continue to receive their food, sleep, and parents’ love and care, they will handle the stress of moving pretty straightforwardly.

However, they can still detect any elevated levels of confusion and worries in their parents and can become more restless and irritable than usual as a result. Therefore, do your best to keep the stress levels to a minimum by organizing your move well.

Toddlers will have a better idea of what is happening in the house but fail to fully understand the reasons for the change.

Some of them may even feel the stress the same way parents do, especially if the moving preparations seem disorganized and chaotic, and respond to the pressure their own way.

Although you have no way of knowing exactly how your toddler will react to the news that soon things will be radically different, you can at least expect signs of uncharacteristic behavior and be mentally ready to tackle each problem as it comes.

One common issue that your toddler may be having is the fear of being left behind. So, use simple language that your child will understand and calm their ungrounded fear the best way you can.

3. Extra tips for moving with a baby or a toddler

3.1. Packing your household items in one giant effort just won’t work

This is especially true when a large portion of your time goes into caring for your baby or toddler.

Instead, divide the entire packing job into smaller perfectly doable tasks, or else you’ll run the risk of getting physically and mentally exhausted.

Before packing gets too overwhelming, adopt the “one box at a time” tactic. This way, when you’re done packing one moving container, you can move on to the next one with renewed energy and determination.

3.2. Be sure to pack an essentials box for your baby or toddler

That survival kit will come in very handy while you’re on the road to your new home or during the first 24 hours in the new city.

The essentials box should include diapers (take a few extra ones just in case), wet wipes, powder or diaper rash cream, suitable baby food and drinks, an extra set of clothes, and of course, your little one’s favorite toys.

Also, remember to take any prescription medicines your young child may need during the trip.

3.3. It’s important to take your child to your family pediatrician for a full checkup

You need that nod from the doctor that your angel is in good health and ready to travel.

Also, while at the pediatrician’s office, request your child’s medical records or have your doctor transfer them to their colleague if you have already decided on a new pediatrician in the destination city.

Stage 2. Moving day

It’s time to hit the road.

Regardless of how you choose to reach your new city, there are specific tips for moving with your child across the country that you should be familiar with in order to have a pleasant relocation trip.

Option 1. Moving your baby or toddler in the family car

• Plan your road trip really well. Consider including emergency clinics along the route (God forbid!) and large parks with playgrounds where you can take a short walk to shake off the road blues. Frequent breaks for fresh air and a change of scenery will prove to be beneficial both for your little one and you.
• Traveling with a little child is a little adventure in itself. Ideally, your baby or toddler will spend most of the trip sleeping or dozing on and off which will help you relax and gather your thoughts for the new set of challenges that will be waiting for you in your new home. It’s a great idea to play gentle and relaxing music on the car stereo to put your child at ease. Classical music is always a good choice, you can also record certain sounds that you know will have a soothing effect on your baby or toddler while the trip lasts, such as ocean waves, forest sounds, light rain, etc.
• Be sure to have the survival kit with you in the car. It’s comforting to know that all the essentials you might need along the moving trip are conveniently gathered in one place and easily accessible at any given moment.
• Make sure your vehicle is equipped with a safety-approved car seat for your baby or toddler.

Option 2. Flying with your baby or toddler to your new home

• It’s no secret that some airline companies are more child-friendly than others. Contact the airline you have selected and ask them about their policy on child safety and any specific regulations you as a parent must know beforehand and observe during the flight.
• Babies and toddlers often fly for free but it’s your obligation to request all the important information in advance. If allowed, you are advised to bring a safety seat aboard the plane for extra protection instead of holding your baby on your lap.
• When flying with a young child, the essentials box will have to be transformed into an essentials bag but its purpose stays unchanged.

Stage 3. After the move

Congratulations on your problem-free move with your child. You are all now in your new home, safe and sound.

However, you shouldn’t get too comfortable, at least not yet, for there are still plenty of child-related challenges for you.

1. Baby-proofing your new home

The moment you step inside your new house or apartment, you will probably feel the need to start unpacking so that your life gets back on track as soon as possible.

But there’s one task that should be done with no delay and that is to baby-proof your new home.

You do realize that nothing is more important than the safety and physical and physiological well-being of your baby or toddler, so it’s your top priority to identify and eliminate any potential household dangers that a new residence can be hiding.

Going through each and every room is the best approach to detecting what could possibly harm your little angel.

Start from the nursery room where your baby or toddler will spend most of their time. Pay special attention to the safety of the baby crib, the changing table, and the immediate area around them, make sure the electrical outlets are protected, and safeguard the windows and the door.

The bathroom and the kitchen will certainly be the most dangerous rooms for your young child (followed by the staircases and the living room), so make no compromises when it comes to properly baby-proofing them.

How to Babyproof Your House After Moving: Room-by-Room Checklist

2. Adjustment period

The period of adjusting to the new environment comes right after the move and there’s no way around it. As a rule, parents have a much harder time getting used to the new chapter in their lives than young children.

Usually, your baby will not be bothered too much by the sudden change. You may expect a few nights with less sleep in the very beginning or even sleepless ones, but the acclimatization period for your little one should be over before you know it.

How Does Moving House Affect Children?

Well, your toddler may find it a bit of a struggle to accept the changes.

It’s not uncommon for toddlers to surprise their parents by exhibiting unusual behavioral patterns, such as unexplained and uncharacteristic aches or decreased appetite.

Try to explain to your kid that all these changes are for the better even if they don’t fully understand what you’re saying. The calm tone of your voice mixed with an enthusiastic touch will make a world of difference for your little angel.

3. Extra tips for moving with a baby or a toddler

• If you still haven’t found a good pediatrician in your new city, do so without delay. Take the up-to-date medical records of your child on the first visit to the doctor’s office.
• Your child’s room should be the first room you set up when you arrive in your new place. Try to recreate as much as possible from your baby or toddler’s old environment – furniture, colors, toys, etc.
• And last but not least, be a patient parent. At times, your nerves and endurance will be tested and your sanity challenged. When things get really tough, keep repeating to yourself that patience is the key to surviving a move with a young child and the successful relocation you’ve just endured is only a transitional period that will be nothing but a distant memory of a few happy years later.

How to Adapt to a New Environment When Moving

Moving With A Preschooler Or A School-Age Child

Moving with school-age kids establishes a different set of obstacles that you will have to overcome than moving house with babies or toddlers.

There are several major differences between the two age groups of children and the better you understand the underlying distinctions, the better you can deal with the issues that you will most likely face before, during, and after the move.

Stage 1. Before the move

Here’s what you should know when you’re moving with a pre-schooler or a school-age child to another home.

1. School, Timing, And Tough Decisions

School changes everything, doesn’t it?

When your child reaches the age of five or six, school takes center stage in their life and a large portion of your kid’s attention and energy will shift away from the close-knit family environment.

Your child will become more and more independent with each passing year, their self-confidence and social interactions will continue to grow while the fears and self-doubts will start to melt one by one.

When planning to move house with your school-age child, it’s fundamental to pick up the right timing for the relocation. Of course, sometimes the decision to move is out of parents’ hands and they cannot choose or control the timing of the local relocation or cross-country move.

And yet, if you do have control over the exact moment of relocation, make sure you weigh in the school factor of your kid.

Some moving experts swear that the summer period is the best time to move house because that way the school year of your child won’t be disrupted.

Other specialists say that a midyear move is the better option since the school-age child can meet other students immediately and that will help them acclimatize much more quickly to the unknown environment.

Tips for Moving During the School Year

2. Discuss the move with your child

Depending on the exact age of your child, they will have a much better understanding of the world in general than a toddler.

So, take advantage of your kid’s expanded horizons and discuss the upcoming transition in order to get them ready for the move.

Naturally, your child may feel confused and will ask you tons of questions. Provide truthful answers and try to give as much specific information about the imminent change as possible.

Use words and phrases that you are certain your school-age kid will understand and focus on the positive aspects of the relocation – a nicer school, better friends, and more exciting adventures.

If you have a preschooler and you sense that your explanations sound too complicated for them to comprehend, then you can intentionally keep your language simpler or even make up an entertaining story with toy cars and trucks and doll houses to better visualize the upcoming family relocation adventure.

3. Extra tips for moving with a preschooler or a school-age child

3.1. Get your school-age child to help with the moving preparations

This is especially important during the packing process.

Of course, packing their room will be entirely their obligation. The important thing here is to keep them involved in the move, to make them feel useful and an important part of the family adventure.

Don’t forget to encourage them for a job well done.

3.2. Pack together a box with all the essential things

These are the things your kid might need during the relocation trip or the first day at your new home. However, this time you won’t be packing diapers, wet wipes, and baby food.

There’s no way to forget the toys, but now the toys will be much more high-tech ones, such as music players, smartphones, portable game consoles, or even tablets.

Also, make sure you also take prescription medicine and a change of clothes.

3.3. Do your best to spark their interest and curiosity about the new place

If it is a local move, it’s a good idea to take your school-age child for a short trip there. It’s like a sneak peek of the brand-new life that is awaiting you all.

List all the fun things you will do together, the new school friends your child will soon make, and visit the future school they will be attending (if you have selected a school yet).

Try to make your child see that the upcoming changes will be for the better. For a long-distance move, you can search for photos or videos of the new city or even use state-of-the-art applications like Google Street View to show the house or apartment building your youngster will soon be calling home.

3.4. Gather all necessary documents

You will need those documents to choose a new pediatrician or enroll your child in the new school in one folder – school records, birth certificates, medical records, etc. 

Keep the documents with you at all times.

Stage 2. Moving day

The time has come to start the family car and drive to the destination city.

The moving journey can last from several hours to a few days depending on the distance, but here’s what you need to know when moving house with a school-age child.

• If you’re not in a great hurry to reach your destination, then why don’t you plan your road trip in a way that will let you visit historic landmarks and places of great interest in another city or another state? After all, your move will give you the unique opportunity to pass through amazing places you may never see again in your life. Surely, visiting local attractions along the road will bring excitement and thrills, and will scare away any dark thoughts from your and your child’s minds.
• Boredom could be an issue if the trip lasts for hours and hours. While frequent stops along the way can be a temporary solution to this problem, a more permanent one is to think of various ways to have fun while on the road. And the king of all entertainment is… games. Who doesn’t like playing games? Kids love them, but most adults can’t get enough of them either. And while standard board games are out of the question, road trip games will be the way to go. Rock, paper, scissors, Team storytelling, License plate game, Fortunately-unfortunately and so on will shorten the relocation journey considerably.

Stage 3. After the move

The adjustment period of school-age children usually lasts longer than that of toddlers and hits with a greater force.

During that time of constant changes, it’s very important that you devote more time to your youngster, give them extra attention, and assure them that you are there for them.

• Let your child be actively involved in arranging and decorating their own room. This major task will occupy your child’s mind and let them feel an important part of the house arrangements after the move.
• Look for a great new school. If you haven’t already done so before the family relocation, your most important post-move mission is to find a good school for your schoolboy or schoolgirl. The Internet is a great start to start the hunt but friends, coworkers or neighbors will be able to give you useful recommendations as well. Once you have shortlisted a number of educational institutions, take your child and do the school tours together. Your school-age child must have the chance to see and feel the place where they will be spending most of the days. Their feedback will be invaluable and their transition to school life much smoother.
• Encourage your child to participate in useful extracurricular activities when the school year begins, activities such as sports, arts, music, and so on, which will give them the chance to direct their energy towards constructive things, find new friends faster, and keep their minds away from sad thoughts about what was left behind. Be mindful that such activities will often require active involvement on the parents’ part as well, most frequently in terms of time and money.
• Talk your child into keeping in touch with their good old friends. E-mailing is a fast and secure way to exchange quick updates but nothing beats sending an old-fashioned, hand-written letter together with a pretty postcard from the new city or town. Video conversations are even better to say hi if you notice your school-age child is missing their friends dearly.
• Pay a visit to the new family pediatrician for a full medical checkup of your child.
• Be patient. When moving with a preschooler or school-age kid, the transitional period may take much longer than you expected. Some school-age children adapt much faster to their new surroundings, while others need much more time or even professional help to rediscover their inner rhythm. In general, it is expected that children should feel comfortable in a new school in about 6-7 weeks. It’s of utmost importance that you sit down and talk with your child on a regular basis and encourage them to be open about any concern they may have without fear of reproach or punishment.

Moving With A Teenager

There’s no question about it – moving house is tough for everyone involved.

Babies still live in their own worlds and won’t mind a move at all. In fact, they won’t even remember anything and will learn about the family relocation many years later.

Toddlers will sense and respond to the changes, but as long as mummy and daddy are around, things will be quite okay. Depending on their respective age, preschoolers and school-age children will have a much stronger reaction to a move.

However, as long as the major things that occupy their minds (school and school friends) reappear once again, their lives will get back to being fairly normal pretty fast.

But moving house with teenagers is an entirely different story.

Most relocation experts agree that when it comes to moving, teenagers have it the roughest. Their social life is everything to them and the mere thought of going away from their friends can plant the seed for a rebellion, a major battle, or even a war at home.

1. How to help a teenager cope with moving?

Teenagers invest an enormous amount of time and energy into finding the right friends and fitting into a specific social group. They are still learning how to socialize and interact with their peers in a desperate search of their own identity.

At that stage in their lives, teenagers’ friends and the fun things they do together define who they are. And that is the exact reason why the news of having to sever that well-established lifeline will be ill-taken, at least most of the time.

Unsurprisingly, the thought of having to repeat the entire laborious process of fitting in again in a new school in a strange city will be upsetting and frightening for them.

Be sure to tell your teenage boy or girl about the move as soon as it becomes only a matter of time. The sooner they learn about the upcoming change, the more time they will have to accept it, prepare emotionally for the relocation, and start forming some sort of master plan of how to deal with the newly created situation.

Depending on whether your teenage child has been feeling happy or miserable with the way things currently stand in their life, they will either strongly object to the move or gladly welcome the relocation.

2. How to weather the storm

You don’t have to worry about a thing if you’re lucky enough to have a teen who has embraced the idea of moving across the country to a new city.

You just found a good ally who will be helping you organize and execute an efficient and stress-free move.

But more often than not, things will not go down without a fight. And if you intend to win the battle with your teenage child, you’re going to need excellent negotiating skills in the form of clever tips, tricks, and tactics on how to deal with a teenager who refuses to accept the idea of moving.

• Try to reason with your child. Sit down with your teen and discuss the move. Explain calmly what exactly is happening, how it will all happen, and the reasons why it is happening. Focus on the positive aspects of the move – all the advantages and benefits for the entire family and specifically for them. Make them see that during this period of change, you need their help more than ever and the successful transition will greatly depend on their willingness to cooperate.
• Listen to what your child has to say. When you’re done with your little speech, give the word to your teen and encourage them to speak openly about their feelings and fears. Address each issue independently and counter spontaneous verbal attacks with solid reasoning and logical conclusions.
• Treat your teenager as an adult. Teenagers don’t like it when they are viewed as kids. So, to win them over, keep the condescending attitude away from the conversation.
• Be a good negotiator. Don’t get alarmed if the talk with your teenage child suddenly turns into a hostage rescue situation. Parents should be ready for anything, even the unexpected, right? Clever negotiations are not uncommon in such situations – maybe your teen will be willing to cooperate if some of their demands get fulfilled. Be ready to play the game but be adamant when unacceptable lines are being crossed.
• Don’t overreact. Yes, the news of moving house will probably not be met with a smile. Angry replies, non-stop whining, attempts to talk you out of the move, and slamming doors are only a tiny preview of the arsenal that your teenager can think of due to pure frustration. The smart thing to do under the circumstances is for you to back off. Give your teenage son or daughter enough time to process the unexpected news on their own.

3. Making the right choices

It’s not easy to always see clearly whether a decision is right or wrong when it is made.

There might be a disappointing discrepancy between how things look before the move and how they will look after the relocation.

And when moving out with a teenager, somehow the tough decisions become even tougher.

• If your teenager is already a senior in high school, consider the option of leaving them with a good friend or family relative until they finish school. This move will save you and your child from an extremely difficult late adaptation to a new school, plus your teen won’t miss the long-awaited prom. Your son or daughter can join you later after graduation.
• If your teenage child is involved in a seemingly serious romantic relationship, weigh the presented options carefully and select the one that will be the least disruptive for your child.

4. How to survive a move with a teenager

• Don’t make it sound like the relocation is final and there’s no coming back. Of course, there is. Plan a return visit with your child back to the current city within the next few months so that they can see their good friends again – something they can look forward to.
• With the help of the Internet, increase your teenager’s anticipation and curiosity by showing them all the fun things to do and all the great places to see in your new city.
• Get your teen to be an important part of the moving process by letting them lend an extra pair of hands when packing the entire household for a move, transporting lighter and safer things to the rented moving truck (if you’ve decided to move on your own) and later unpack and arrange their own room when you reach your new home.
• When the move is complete, make sure your teen son or daughter has a convenient way of keeping in touch with their pals (emailing, video chats, phone conversations, regular mail, etc.).
• Also, encourage your teenager to get involved with tons of extracurricular activities in the new place that you know they will enjoy.

5. How to devote more time to your child

Everything will seem less stressful, upsetting, and frightening to your child if they know that, no matter what, you are there for them.

The time you devote to your child in that chaotic transitional period called moving will not and cannot have a price tag attached to it.

But how could you possibly have more time for your loved one with the notoriously time-consuming moving preparations?

The answer to this question is actually its best solution as well: professional movers.

No rules on how to move with a child out of state are set in stone.

Not a single piece of advice on relocation with a child across the country can be magically and universally true simply because each family is different, each family member is different and each set of values, beliefs, and points of view of each member is different.

Nevertheless, the above-mentioned guidelines for relocating with a child, reinforced with smart, strategic, and informed decisions in each specific relocation case, will be your best bet for a smooth transition to the new chapter in your life.

Must-read: The Epic Family Moving Checklist: Family Relocation Timeline