there are RISKS of personal injuries and property damage on Moving day,
packing a house takes FOREVER,
parting with friends and family can be HEARTBREAKING, and
there’s also the FEAR of the unknown.
And this is exactly why everybody’s trying really hard to make moving easy for themselves and for their family members, including pets.
Not you, though.
You’ve always thought of yourself as a rebel – a strong-willed person who doesn’t like to do what everybody else does. You wish to be a trailblazer in the field of moving house, you want to set brave new relocation standards for others to follow for years to come.
And here’s your innovative idea: instead of making every effort to make moving easy, you’re going to do all in your power to make moving hard – harder than Chinese calculus.
But why?
Because you’re a fearless pioneer and a genuine trendsetter. And someday people will thank you from the bottom of their hearts for your costly sacrifices.
Here are the top 10 ways to make moving hard, really hard for yourself and everyone around you:
1. Use your inner intuition, moving checklists are useless anyway
All moving experts agree that the easiest way to organize a move is to follow a detailed moving checklist. Supposedly, a personal moving timeline will guide you throughout the moving process, advising you which tasks you should do next.
Yeah, right!
One of the things you hate the most in life is checklists – all they do is tell you what to do (Do this, do that!) as if you were a small child.
First of all, no moving checklist could possibly qualify as your parent. And secondly, you refuse to take orders by something as soulless as a list of bullet points.
You don’t need a moving checklist to organize a perfect move simply because your mind is as sharp as a tack and your intuition is as strong as an oaken staff. One quick glance around the rooms and you’ll know exactly what you should do next.
What now? Take care of that shopping list your spouse has compiled for you this morning.
2. Run a one-man moving show, hiring professional movers is overrated
To make moving easy, all you have to do is hire full-service movers to take care of your house move from start to finish. You just stand aside and watch with keen interest as each relocation aspect is dealt with in a highly professional manner.
But why would you ever want that for yourself?
Truth is that you’d love to run the moving show all by yourself.
What you really want is to spend weeks sorting and packing your stuff into boxes. You long to be the person who lifts and carries huge furniture items and countless boxes out of the house, and loads them into the truck.
Buying a front-row ticket for the relocation show is not thrilling enough for you. It’s your dream to find yourself right in the epicenter of the moving action, risking property damage, sacrificing your health, and enduring the stress of moving.
After all, it’s your unique chance to prove that you’re better than professional movers. And you wouldn’t miss it for the world.
3. Keep paying without asking questions, budgeting a move ruins the suspense
Your move may leave you broke… but never broken.
Normally, you should be greatly interested in learning how much your move will cost. Even as an approximated value, the price of your move is supposed to prepare you mentally and financially for what’s coming.
However, today you’re not in the mood to ask too many questions.
How much does it cost to hire movers? In your opinion, this is a useless question. When movers present you with the final bill after the move, you will pay what it says on the document. Simple as that.
First, you should request accurate cost estimates from moving companies. Then, you are expected to also budget for all other move-related expenses. But that’s just too much math for you, too many complex calculations to be done.
Besides, knowing the moving price in advance will practically kill the suspense. No suspense, no fun. You’d rather be tossing and turning in bed all night wondering whether you’ll have enough money to pay movers in the end.
4. Move everything you own, sorting your stuff is a waste of time
You’ve read in numerous articles how important it is to sort out your things prior to moving and get rid of any items that you won’t be using in the future.
The problem is that you don’t really understand the concept of decluttering prior to a move. Everything you have inside the house – every little thing – is your own possession and you won’t give it up without a fight. The fact that you haven’t used an item in many years doesn’t make it less yours, does it?
You’re moving all your personal belongings, and that’s final. You’re not going to let go of any clothes and shoes you won’t ever wear again just because that will bring down the moving cost or because some obscure moving experts say that you should.
Paying more money to transport those items and having difficulties in finding enough storage space for them are not good reasons to get rid of the PRECIOUS things you own no matter how worthless those things seem to onlookers.
What’s yours is yours and that’s the way it will be. Forever.
5. Leave packing for the last day, packing early is for amateur packers
You’ve heard friends say that packing is the most time-consuming task when moving. Your best friend Mike even told you once that if you were to ever move house, you should start packing without delay.
Packing for moving can’t possibly take that much time, can it?
You’ve recently come across an article online about how to pack for moving in 1 day. You didn’t read it but according to the title, you could pack all your things in just one day. Ha! What does Mike know about moving anyway?
So, your strategic plan is to wait until the day before having to move out, then google that said article and see what it says. It should be a no-brainer, really – after all, one day has 24 hours, so 24 hours of packing for a move should be more than enough.
Besides, you’ve watched several packing videos on YouTube before, so you’re more than likely to finish packing in 12 hours, give or take.
6. Use any moving boxes you can find, a box is a box
What you REALLY don’t understand is all that fuss about moving boxes. You’ve heard from numerous sources how cardboard boxes used in a move should be
Being too choosy about moving boxes will only make moving harder for you.
STRONG to withstand the load safely,
CLEAN to prevent damage to the items inside them,
DRY to guarantee the integrity and durability of the containers, and
NON-INFESTED to avoid all types of serious infestation problems after the move.
Only, you do think that these moving box requirements are laughable. A box is just a box – nothing more than a large sheet of cardboard creased and folded to form the shape of a cuboid.
So, all that fuss over some mindless cuboids?
You surely don’t intend to make moving hard by worrying too much about the boxes you’re using. According to your detailed calculations, a container is good to go as long as at least 25% of the total area of an item sits below the top rim of the box.
You’ve always known that your extensive knowledge of theoretical physics will pay off someday.
7. Pack fragile items without padding, broken items bring good luck
There’s a good reason why fragile items are considered to be the bane of packing for a move. In most cases, failure to provide enough padding will end badly for delicate items made of easily breakable materials such as glass, porcelain, and even wood.
The thing is that you don’t like to make things more complicated than necessary – adding protective materials over fragile items will only increase the final cost and overall time of the packing process. And who would want to waste money and time during a move?
Besides, the concept of packing fragile items tends to clash with your au naturel life philosophy. The way you see it, your breakables should be smart enough to take care of themselves without any extra wrapping paper and bubble wrap to keep them safe.
It is believed that a broken mirror brings 7 years of bad luck. Now that’s very interesting because according to your profound folklore knowledge, broken glass is not a bad omen – on the contrary, it is a sign of good luck.
8. Label boxes in your mind, infallible memory is not a myth
Every time you see labeled boxes, you can’t help but wonder what must have possessed those people to ruin perfectly clean cardboard boxes with indecipherable graffiti scrawls.
According to your high-school essay 10 Ways to Make Moving Hard, labeling boxes for moving is a complete waste of time. Why? In your opinion, this thing called memory – the brain function that enables people to encode, store, and retrieve data or information when needed – should be your only tool to figure out which box contains the coffee machine.
You’re a big fan of mental box labeling – the advanced technique of remembering which box goes where and what’s inside each container without having to write anything on the cartons. It’s all about using the unlimited power of the mind to catalog all boxes mentally, thus making moving easy for yourself.
As a bonus, moving boxes can be reused over and over again since there won’t be any meaningless scribble on them. Neat, right?
9. Lift heavy items with your bare hands, moving dollies are for weaklings
Your powerful muscles are vastly superior to a pair of rubber wheels.
Do you sometimes catch yourself pondering over the ancient riddle Which came first, the chicken or the egg? It’s a tough one to crack, isn’t it?
Here’s the thing – you do know that human muscles came long before the wheel was ever invented. There’s no question about this in your mind, not a shred of doubt.
Therefore, when Moving day comes wheeling around the corner, you’d rather trust your own muscles than a weird contraption with rubber wheels on the bottom.
Besides, what would your friends think of you if they saw you pushing a moving dolly as if you were the local milkman? You don’t go to the gym twice a month only to be intimidated by a few gigantic furniture pieces, right?
Now, your name may not be Arnold, but you do intend to prove to everybody that on the day of the move, your own human body can withstand all types of G forces (+Gx, -Gx, Gy, +Gz, and -Gz) at once.
At the end of the day, a moving dolly is nothing but a fashionable gimmick, isn’t that right?
10. Manage Moving day on your own, asking friends for help is a sign of weakness
Moving day is just around the corner and everyone who’s made the brave decision NOT to hire professional movers will be scrambling to reach out to their friends for help.
Guys, I’m moving, please help!
You’d never do such a thing though. Why? Because asking for help is a sure sign of weakness and you’re physically strong and mentally tough. As tough as nails.
You know deep inside that you’ll somehow manage to survive Moving day entirely on your own. Besides, what’s the worst that could happen on the most dangerous day of the entire move?
Of course, your unwillingness to get friends to help you move has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that you’ll be obliged to also give them a hand when they decide to move.
Don’t even think about making moving easier for yourself because that’s just not your style. You love serious challenges, you crave impossible solutions – have things the easy way and you’re likely to fall asleep on the couch, with your shoes on and everything.
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